The Lonely Mom

Feeling pretty down today. Tired emotionally and mentally. Didn’t sleep good. Not sure what I am feeling. Been irritable with my kids and the dog (haha). Thinking about if I should go back to work after almost nine years of being a stay at home mom. I love being home, I’m very grateful that I get to, but it’s very lonely and monotonous. I just feel like I have nothing else to give sometimes. I don’t really have anything of my own. It’s been so long I don’t even know how I would start working again. I don’t want to go back to what I did before becoming a mom and I’m not sure what I would want to do now. I’ve thought about hobbies, but nothing sticks out. I’m in my head way too much. I’m lost, lost in life for the moment….

Lately I’ve been finding myself thinking about the first time we met. It always makes me smile. I feel this overwhelming sense of joy throughout my entire body. Never have I ever had that from any other person and I want that feeling to never leave me.

It’s funny how I remember exactly what I was wearing and exactly what you were wearing. The little things I remember from that. We met at a friend’s house on a Superbowl Sunday and from that day on it’s always been you and will always be you.

Fifteen years later and here we are. I’m still loving you more and more. We’ve been through a lot, had our ups and downs, but it has only made us stronger.